For the enemy has pursued my soul;
he has crushed my life to the ground;
he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.
Therefore my spirit faints within me;
my heart within me is appalled.
I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all that you have done;
I ponder the work of your hands.
I stretch out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah
Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails!
Hide not your face from me,
lest I be like those who go down to the pit.
Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Some days I feel like the trials of my life have stolen more things from me than I want to count. Certainly in recent days my Addison’s disease has left me feeling like my life is crushed into the ground. Yet, as my spirit faints within me I think back to walking through my first autoimmune disease. I remember what it was like waiting for my healing. I remember the days of old, and I am encouraged.
God did not fail me then, even when life was at its bleakest. Bleak. Like when I was sitting in a hospital room wondering how many days I would have to endure the pain. Very bleak. When I spent more moments clawing my way out of the pit than resting.
I will praise the Lord in this storm. I will stretch out my hands to You, O Lord. Let me hear this morning of Your steadfast love. Whisper to me the way I should go. Keep me from bitterness, anger, resentment, impatience, doubt, fear, hopelessness, and all the other sins that brew during times of waiting and times of silence. Hide not Your face from me.
Lord, I pray for Your will to be done in my life. Take the pen and write my story in a way that will glorify You alone. For in You I trust. For to You I lift up my soul.
All is grace and all need grace, friends!